So far 2019 has been full of revelations and realizations. I fell, I got up. I made mistakes, and I learned. And what I took away from it all is to close the old chapters, and make room for new stories to be written. This process hasn’t been too easy, so I want to share with you my piece of advice.
1.Toxic people
My biggest challenge this year was dealing with unwanted negativity from people close to me. Everyone deals with toxic and negative people, but distancing yourself from them can turn out to be more difficult than you initially thought. The worst thing is, these bad vibes don’t come from strangers, but from people close to you. And that is what makes it so hard to cut those connections.
One thing I for sure learned is to not hold onto people just for the sake of history. If they are a negative factor in your life, you feel unhappy when you are with them, or they mistreated you, let them go. Don’t stay stuck in the past. Cut the connections and move forward.
If your friends don’t celebrate your wins, mourn your losses, motivate you to work harder, and always tell you the truth, then they’re not worth keeping. And that’s the tea.
2. Unmotivated
Another big obstacle I faced was feeling unmotivated. I couldn’t push myself to accomplish my goals, stay on track with work, deal with university deadlines, and keep up an active social life. For long I told myself that this was because I didn’t have enough time to do everything. But that is bullshit.
You always have time to get the things that you want in life. All it takes is a lot of mental strength and energy to push yourself to do your sh*t. Tell yourself in the mirror: no more excuses! Tomorrow is not the time to start something, today is the time.
Every day I write down my daily goals. These could be simple and practical things like: ‘work on a deadline’, ‘do the laundry’, ‘get groceries’, etc. But these could also be more emotionally intense goals like: ‘create a moment of happiness today’ or ‘do something good to a stranger’. Whatever your goals for the day are, write them down, and complete them one by one.
3. Own sadness
One of my biggest habits was forcing sadness onto myself. Being sad was my mood. I romanticized the idea of being in a sad vibe, as is a very common thing in today’s age. I repeatedly told myself how much the world sucks, how much people suck, how much I hated my job, and so on. But looking in retrospect, there wasn’t always a reason to be sad.
Acknowledge your past, close it, and move on. We’re done with being sad, right? It sucks, so why not just move on from it. Don’t allow yourself to feel these negative emotions when nothing really happened to you. Stop drowning in your own sorrows and find those things that spark joy in you.
Hold on to the good feelings, the happy memories, and the right people.
To (more) new beginnings!
Every day is a new day. You should never bring the drama, pain, or stress from other days. Take on the opportunities that are handed to you and live your life like tomorrow is not granted. Rid yourself from any negativity and start seeing the beauty of life.
